Experience
“Families often come to me when they need someone they can truly trust.”
My experience was built in real homes, during those first days and weeks after birth, when parents are excited, exhausted, vulnerable, and trying to understand a brand-new baby while they are still finding their own feet.
A life built around newborns, babies, and families
Over the years, I have cared for hundreds of babies, including dozens of twins, premature babies, babies with reflux and feeding difficulties, and babies who needed a closer level of observation or more specialised support. I have also worked with families who asked me back for their second or third baby.
No two babies are the same, and no family needs support in exactly the same way.
When families contact me
Many families reach out when they are no longer just tired. They feel depleted, lost, inadequate, and absolutely exhausted. The baby is unsettled, sleep has fallen apart, and everyone is trying very hard, yet somehow the whole home feels more and more intense.
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Often, they do not even know how to name the problem yet. They only know that their baby is not sleeping, nothing seems to settle them for long, and the joy of those first weeks is being swallowed by survival mode.
This is where I begin: by listening carefully, understanding what has been happening, and looking at the full picture before I suggest changing anything.
One of the most common things I see is parents trying so hard to settle their baby that the constant effort becomes part of what keeps the baby overstimulated.
Seeing the bigger picture when everyone is trying very hard
Many times, the answer is not to do more. It is to slow everything down enough to finally see what the baby is telling us.
Babies co-regulate. They take in the pace, the tension, the movement, and the energy around them. A parent may look quiet on the outside and still be panicking inside, and the baby can feel that through the way they are held, moved, and responded to.
Before I look for complicated answers, I go back to the basics
These five things can shape the whole quality of the next sleep cycle. If even one of them is off, the baby may struggle to settle well or stay asleep for long.
Has the baby fed well enough?
A hungry baby will not settle deeply. A baby who has fed, but not taken in enough, may fall asleep briefly and wake again after 20, 30, or 45 minutes.
Has the baby been burped or winded properly?
Trapped air can ruin sleep. If it stays high, it can travel once the baby lies down and bring milk back up. If it sits lower, the baby may try to pass wind in their sleep, then wake distressed and uncomfortable.
Is the baby comfortable in temperature?
A baby who is too warm or too cold will not sleep well. The sleep environment matters more than many parents realise.
Has the baby had the right amount and quality of awake time?
Awake time is not just about minutes on a clock. A baby can be overstimulated and understimulated at the same time. I look at both how long they have been awake and what that awake time has actually felt like for them.
When was the last poo?
Digestion affects sleep. A baby who usually opens their bowels more often but suddenly has not done so may become unsettled later in the day and struggle to rest well.
When the basics are right, but the baby is still struggling
If feeding, wind, temperature, awake time, and digestion all look right, but the baby is still waking unhappy after 20 to 30 minutes of sleep, feeding uncomfortably, vomiting often, or showing patterns that do not sit right, I start looking deeper.
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I do not diagnose babies. But through experience and years of working with hundreds of babies, I know when something looks outside the usual newborn picture and when it may be worth taking back to a doctor, paediatrician, feeding specialist, or another appropriate professional.
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I help parents notice what is happening more clearly, keep useful notes, take photos where it makes sense, and understand what questions may be worth asking. Sometimes that alone changes how seriously they are heard.
What I may help you track
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short sleep after settling
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reflux-like patterns
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feeding comfort
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stool changes
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breathing or movement concerns
Twins taught me early that two babies born together are never “the same baby twice.”
Sometimes parents need someone beside them who can help them see those differences without fear, explain what is happening as it unfolds, and help them respond to the baby in front of them, not to an idea of what a baby “should” be doing.
I have supported premature twins who arrived with many of the same broad challenges, but showed them in completely different ways. Both had reflux, yet one was more restless through sleep, while the other needed more careful help with winding and settling. One could poo in his sleep and carry on resting happily. His sister could wake the second she felt even slightly wet. Their mother wanted to breastfeed them fully, and we worked with that goal in a very practical way. That meant helping with tandem feeding, showing her how to handle and burp both babies when she was alone, and expressing in the morning when her supply was stronger so that milk was available for the harder late-afternoon feeds. That experience stayed with me because it showed so clearly that what you read is not always what you will live. Babies do not follow one dry, cut-and-paste rulebook. They come with their own sensitivities, their own comfort needs, and their own personalities from the beginning.
“She gave me the kinds of reassurances that I needed, to know what was normal and what was not.”
Elizabeth S., mother of premature newborn twins
Over the years, I have supported babies and young children whose care needed more focus, more observation, and more confidence from the person beside them. Some needed oxygen monitoring through the night. Some needed medication given exactly as instructed. Some wore a Pavlik harness, shaping helmets, or other specialist equipment that changed how they could be held, fed, burped, changed, and settled.
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I have worked with babies where care involved following guidance shown to me directly by medical professionals, and I have supported families whose days were full of appointments, observations, exercises, equipment, worry, and very little room to simply enjoy their baby. Those experiences made me far more observant, steadier under pressure, and not easily frightened by a baby who needs extra thought.
But one of the biggest lessons I learned is this: a baby with complex needs is still a baby. They are not only a list of concerns, treatments, or things to watch. They still need songs, touch, play, cuddles, belly raspberries, being spoken to, being delighted in, and all the ordinary baby joy that can get lost when the medical side becomes overwhelming.
Those harder cases helped shape me into the sincere, serene, calm, and confident newborn care specialist I am today.
Sometimes a mother does not need one more opinion.
She needs someone on her side.
Jennifer had people around her, but what she needed was someone who actually listened to what she was telling me, what she needed, what she was experiencing, and how she wanted to mother her baby.
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I reassured her that her way was valid. That it was good. That it was okay. It was how she wanted to be a mother, and no other person should have a say in that. Then I showed her a realistic way to get there, with her baby, in her home, step by step.
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That is a very important part of my work. I am not there to push a mother into someone else’s idea of motherhood. I am there to listen, understand what she wants for herself and her baby, and help her make it work in real life.
“Kornelia made me feel like I could cope with this new task of being a mum by helping me with practical and realistic advice and arming me with the tools to go it alone after she left.”
Jennifer D., first time mom
Families come back because of TRUST.
Trust is massive in this profession. It is the number one thing. I always tell families to choose the person they feel truly comfortable with, the person they have that gut feeling about, because if that trust is not there, working together will never feel easy.
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You will stay anxious. You will double-check, micromanage, and keep yourself half-alert when what you actually need is the opposite. You need to feel comfortable. You need to know that you can trust this person with the most important thing in your life.
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When families ask me back for a second or third baby, they are not only coming back because I was good with their first. They come back because they know me. They know my capabilities. They know the professionalism, stability, and balance I can bring into their home.